Terry Rupert
Director of Athletics
Wilmington College (Ohio)
NCAA Division III
In the last few years we've seen parents who are much more on top of everything that's going on in their children's lives. As we've noticed parents becoming more involved, we've tried to improve our communication levels to address some of their concerns.

For example, during our orientation for freshmen we spend time talking with parents about our athletic procedures, our goals for the program, and our expectations of them as parents. We ask them to be supportive of our rules and regulations, to understand the time and commitment it takes to be a student-athlete, and to be ready for the differences between high school and college athletics. We also explain that we're going to treat their children as the young adults they are.

Moms and dads are more than welcome to ask questions, but they also need to understand that we'll now be dealing with their child more than they will. That's a tough lesson for some parents, but I think addressing it early helps them appreciate that the college years are a time of growing and maturation. That level of upfront honesty and communication also helps us start a good relationship with them.

One of our selling points as a small private college is that we're up close and personal with athletes and their families. But we also need to control how communication flows. We provide parents with phone numbers and e-mail addresses for the athletic department and coaches as early as possible, then we guide them on the proper time and place to have dialog.

Mike Matoso
Senior Associate
Director of Athletics
University of San Diego
NCAA Division I
We've seen that sports with strong club teams at the high school level tend to have more parents who overstep their bounds. Those parents spent so much time and money on their kids' club team careers that they basically owned the clubs. They hired the coaches and paid their dues, and are used to having strong input. When their children come here, they expect to have the same involvement.

Because of that, we've decided to put out a letter to let parents know our expectations of student-athletes, our policies, and how the athletes should try to deal with any problems on their own. I also personally meet with every incoming student-athlete and let them know I'm someone they can always come talk to.

If an athlete has an issue with their coach, we tell them to take it directly to the coach. They can also ask questions of any of our five athletic directors who serve as supervisors for individual sports. So when a parent calls us, the first thing we ask is whether their child has talked to the coach or an athletic administrator yet. We won't entertain any parental conversations until that's been done.

We tell those parents, "If your child can't learn to deal with these types of problems, what will happen when they graduate? How will they deal with conflicts with their boss? They need to be able to have those tough conversations and work things out on their own every once in a while."

Larry Marfise
Athletic Director
University of Tampa
NCAA Division II
In the past few years, parental involvement at our school has gotten so bad that I've had to draw a line in the sand and say that unless it's a very urgent matter, we won't talk to parents. We've had parents try to bully coaches and act very aggressively in their communication with us, especially when it involves financial aid issues. At the Division II level, athletes aren't usually on full scholarships, so the parents who are paying tuition feel a sense of ownership.

In response to this escalation, I sent a letter to all returning players and their parents in mid-August, and the new players and parents got an introductory letter. We said: "Your child is an adult and part of the learning process is for them to handle their own problems. We expect them to take charge of situations. I'll mediate an issue between the student-athlete and coach if I need to, but the problems need to be brought to us by the student-athlete." Things have gotten better since we started communicating that message to parents.

It's also helped that we've told coaches they can't run roughshod and be dictatorial with their student-athletes. Because the vast majority of our kids have minimal amounts of athletic aid, we need to always treat them well. They're students first, and emphasizing that helps prevent a lot of problems.

Jay Gardiner
Athletic Director
Oglethorpe University
NCAA Division III
I've been an athletic director for 25 years, and when I first started we didn't hear from parents unless there was a major crisis of some sort. Now, I hear from a parent probably three times a week.

We try to take a proactive approach. We tell coaches how important it is to be available to parents, especially after games. We want every coach to come to our hospitality room after a game and speak with parents. If parents have a chance to talk to the coach and shake hands with him, while they might still question some of his decision-making, they'll know he isn't a jerk and has good intentions for their child.

Our coaches also send a weekly e-mail to parents that updates them on everything, from practices to how the season is progressing. When they're writing those e-mails, they make sure to mention every player on the team. Even if the athlete isn't contributing in games, the coach reports on what he or she does in practice that's helping to prepare the team for its next game. Parents have responded very favorably to those updates.

I also send a letter to parents every year explaining that I'll talk with them about any issue dealing with fairness or safety, but I'll never talk about playing time or team strategy. Sometimes they say they have a fairness issue to talk about and then tell me how they think it's not fair their child isn't playing enough.

There is one father who comes to me often, saying he has concerns with the program, but it quickly turns into a conversation about his son's playing time. At that point, I just listen to him, nod my head, then thank him for his interest. He's come to learn that I just won't discuss playing time. I'm not a very confrontational person, and while there are some administrators who would quickly kick those parents out of their office, that's not my style.

James "Rod" Wyatt
Associate Athletic Director for Student Welfare
U. of North Carolina-Greensboro
NCAA Division I
We have parents who can be a little too assertive in trying to make sure their child is taken care of and getting the best quality education. In their zeal to have that happen, they sometimes forget their child has rights. We feel it's up to us to make sure the parents understand those rights.

We have standard operating procedures that rely heavily on HIPAA and FERPA laws, which require us to not release any information on a student-athlete without that person's expressed written permission. To help parents understand these laws, during the recruiting process we spend a lot of time explaining a student's rights and how we operate here. We tell parents very clearly that we will not release information to them about medical or academic issues without the student's permission. Once you explain those laws, it becomes much easier to deal with parents.

We also try very hard to be consistent at every level, so whether a parent meets with the athletic director, associate athletic director, or academic advisor, they get the same message. We do not respond to questions about playing time. But if an athlete feels they've been mistreated, we will investigate it carefully, even bringing in a third party from the academic faculty if we need to.

We tell student-athletes and parents about this process beforehand and give every one of our student-athletes a procedural manual on a CD-Rom. It's really cost efficient and environmentally conscious because we're not putting out reams of paper, and it's a great way to get this important information to our athletes.

Amy Hackett
Director of Physical Education, Athletics, and Recreation
University of Puget Sound
NCAA Division III
If a parent calls me with questions about playing time or the way a coach runs the team, I tell them I hire good coaches and trust their decision-making on team issues. Every coach has their own style and I let them each decide just how much they will communicate with parents, and in what way they will convey any information.

But when it comes to issues pertaining to a student-athlete's welfare, my door is open and I'm willing to sit down with the athlete and their parents. If it's a question of how an athlete is being treated by the coach, I'll listen to both parties and offer to set up a meeting. Often what we discover is that a student may not have shared with their parent everything that's been expressed to them by a coach. Usually, once everyone is in the same room, the issue can be resolved very quickly. Ideally, we want the student-athlete to handle problems on their own, but we recognize they're still young people and if a parent is very concerned about a situation I will make myself available to help mediate.

To be more proactive about our policies, we are developing a letter to send to our parents. It will express that student-athletes are adults and will be treated that way, especially when it comes to academic progress issues. We don't have a concrete communication policy to cite, but we'll use the letter to say, in a non-threatening way, that we intend to deal directly with the students as much as possible.

Garrett Ford
Associate Athletic Director for Student Services
West Virginia University
NCAA Division I
Our kids come from many different backgrounds, and with that comes varying levels of involvement from parents and guardians. Some have traditional families, some have one-parent families, and some are raised by grandparents or aunts and uncles. But during the recruiting process, we let all of them know that communication at our university is a team effort and everyone does their part. We tell them, "What we know about your child, you'll know."

We keep them informed of everything that's going on, send midterm reports home, and make sure they know we're always available. We tell them, "If you call with a question, within a day we'll get you an answer or a report on how your child is doing."

We feel that the correspondence coming from our end is very important. If there is a severe circumstance where a student-athlete has to go home or is suspended, the parent knows about the situation long before it gets to that point. It's a very basic, old school approach. We do our part, the parent does their part.

Kay Whitley
Director of Athletics
Sul Ross State University
NCAA Division III
Being somewhat isolated in a small western Texas town, we don't have many of the issues with parents that I hear about at other schools. We do get some questions about eligibility concerns, and I tell parents that there is certain information we just can't give out because of privacy laws. We also get that message across to the student-athletes themselves--they're adults now and when it comes to privacy issues, the information needs to go through them.

If a parent has a question about playing time, I strongly encourage the student-athlete to talk to the coach and relay that conversation to their parents. We also tell parents that, whether or not an athlete is getting playing time, they're still an important member of the team. Parents need to understand that those players still make great contributions.