By Dr. Calli Theisen Sanders

Calli Theisen Sanders, EdD, is Senior Associate Director of Athletics at Iowa State University and has been an Associate Athletics Director at the University of Alabama-Birmingham and Montana State University. She can be reached at: csanders@iastate.edu.

Toward the end of the school year, my son came home with great news. He'd been invited to join his high school's chapter of the National Honor Society. My husband and I were thrilled--and then I looked at my calendar.

The induction ceremony was scheduled for a time when I would be traveling. I had already purchased my airline ticket to attend the Big 12 Outdoor Track and Field Championships in Boulder, Colo., and was planning to then hop over to Colorado Springs for the Big 12 annual meeting. My son's induction was scheduled for the off-day between the track championships and the Big 12 meetings--but 600 miles away.

Deciding what to do was difficult. I thought about my philosophy for balancing work and family, spoke with several people I trust, and looked for creative solutions. Ultimately, I decided to fly back home for the ceremony and then to Colorado Springs, where I arrived minutes before my first meeting.

HAVE A PHILOSOPHY
While this decision took some deep thought, balancing work and family means making similar, although smaller, decisions every day. Should I stay at work to finish a project, or pick up my daughter early from daycare because she really wants to plant her new flower seeds before dark? Should I go to my son's band concert or help cover an important basketball game? Finding answers is not easy, but it helps to start with a guiding philosophy.

My philosophy is that family comes first, but I can still have a successful career in athletics administration. That means I fully consider how work impacts my family, both positively and negatively, and make the best decisions I can based on those considerations.

When I need to be with my family, I make sure I am, even if that means missing an event for work. And I don't hesitate to talk to my athletics director when a conflict arises. More and more athletics directors want to help their staffs balance work and family, and if they know you are working hard to get your job done, they will not view family commitments as dropping the ball on your work obligations.

At the same time, I try to be realistic about what I can do at home. I enjoy being a parent volunteer for my kids' school activities, but I know I probably shouldn't be a PTA officer or chair a fundraising drive.

Although that may seem like a sacrifice, I also believe my work has a positive impact on my family. Not only is income a factor, but my kids understand the tangible things they receive because of my job, including great seats at athletics venues, travel to bowl games, and personal contact with athletes and coaches. There is also the intangible benefit of having my kids see that men and women can have successful careers and be good parents, too.

KEEP COMMUNICATION FLOWING
Athletics administrators of our generation are the guinea pigs for figuring out work-life balance, which is why it's critical to maintain an ongoing dialogue about it. When the conflict with my son's induction occurred, I let my athletics director know that I was struggling. Thankfully, he was glad to explore options on how I could do both. He even ended up offering additional resources from the department to help me get home and back.

Of course, my husband and I also discussed the situation at length. For years, we have had our quiet morning coffee together, when we spend at least a few minutes discussing schedules for the upcoming day, week, or month. When this issue arose, my husband was quick to provide unwavering support to make sure I could be home to celebrate the occasion.

Before I made the final decision, I contacted my mom to get her thoughts. Not only did she raise 10 children, but she laid the foundation for the values that drive me as an employee and a mother. She asked the question: Ten years from now, when your meeting is a distant memory, will you regret missing this important moment in your child's life?

CREATIVITY & PERSISTENCE
In this case, many things fell into place, including a favorable airline schedule, that allowed me to resolve my conflict. But many times, it takes persistence (and a little stubbornness!) to find the right balance. It may feel easier to always let work take precedence, but it's been worthwhile for me to think creatively every step of the way.

For example, my husband and I believe summers should be a time for our kids to relax and play with their neighborhood friends. Even when they were young, we did not want our kids to continue their regular daycare routine during the summer. In 1997, I took a job at Montana State University and did not feel comfortable asking for time off in the summer, so we hired relatives from out of town to stay with us during their vacations. After my first year on the job, I talked to my boss, who was amenable to a summer schedule in which I arrived at the office around 6 a.m. and left by early afternoon. My husband adjusted his schedule to work later in the day. Together, we minimized the number of hours our kids needed childcare.

As it turned out, my mornings at work were extremely productive because of the peace and quiet. But I was also a better employee because I felt confident in the way I was handling my parental responsibilities. The positive feelings I had about myself as a mother carried through to my confidence and productivity at work, even though I was sacrificing some morning sleep.

During the academic year, it is often difficult to get away from the office in time to pick up kids at daycare. This can create a great deal of stress, and the solution we found was to hire one of the daycare workers to bring our kids home when the center closed. I still rushed home, but I was relieved to know the kids were in good hands until either my husband or I arrived at home. And it allowed me to tie up loose ends before leaving work for the day.

There were also those dreaded days when one of the kids woke up too sick to attend daycare. With work responsibilities looming, my husband and I would "tag team" by rearranging our schedules so that one of us could be home. Occasionally, we had to call in a friend or neighbor, but most times, one of us simply stayed home. Having a flexible spouse and an understanding employer is critical in making those days work.

My kids are now 16, 14, and 11 and pretty self-sufficient, but different issues arise. One evening this spring, I had a work event at the same time as my daughter's band performance. I wrestled with trying to do both, but realized that in the end, it was important to be realistic about what I could and couldn't do. The solution was for my husband to videotape the concert, and before the night was over, my daughter and I watched the performance together. While I missed the live event, I had a special experience with my daughter, with the bonus of getting her personal commentary while we watched.

USE TIME WISELY
Some people might find it advantageous to set clear boundaries between work and home. For me, it works best to intertwine the two. With technological advances, I am able to access my work computer's files from any location. This allows me to leave the office to be home for the evening, then get back to any unfinished projects when there is a lull in the evening's activities or after the kids go to bed.

Similarly, I try to include my family in any Iowa State activities that are appropriate for them, especially evening and weekend games, and enjoy occasionally having one or more family members accompany me when I travel to away contests. It has been important, though, to be sure the kids know and understand that being at a game is still work time for mom. Taking young kids to games meant teaching them to be patient while I talked to a co-worker or season-ticket holders, but the opportunity to go to the concessions stand was always a nice reward for their good behavior!

When there aren't enough hours to do everything, it helps to capitalize on any available time. I always keep reading material with me, so that whenever I have a free moment I can be productive. Being organized is also essential in making the most of available hours. I keep a notebook with me at all times to jot down tasks that come to mind--a divider separates my "home list" from my "work list" for easy reference.

The great news is that balancing work and life gets easier. Daycare is no longer a concern, and with the recent addition of another driver in the household (oh my!), we have help with errands and shuttling siblings from one activity to another. It's been a journey and a challenge, but I couldn't be happier with the path I've chosen.