By Dan Cardone

Dan Cardone is Athletic Director at North Hills High School in Pittsburgh, Pa., and a frequent contributor to Athletic Management. He can be reached at: cardoned@nhsd.k12.pa.us.

In the arena of sport, we often talk about winning and losing. As athletic directors, the words surround us every day. But how often do we equate wins and losses with our interactions with people?

To have success in almost any career, one needs to claim victories when dealing with their clientele. A car salesman has to persuade a potential buyer that a new automobile is in their best interest. A CEO has to convince a board of directors that her strategy for the next fiscal year is the right one.

More and more, the job of an athletic director also requires winning people over. Getting parents and the community to buy into our vision is a work in progress. We often have to convince the school board and administration that our decisions are the right ones. And in our role as sports liaisons, we need to make friends with a variety of people on an ongoing basis.

In 1937, Dale Carnegie authored the book How to Win Friends and Influence People. He enlightened those in every profession about the need to deal successfully with the people you engage on the job. Even though the text is now over 70 years old, I find it still has amazing relevance. Knowing how to win people over and influence them can help us reach new goals in our careers.

THE PEOPLE GAME
As an athletic administrator, think about how many people you need to befriend and influence. How do you get coaches, athletes, parents, building administrators, the school board, faculty, the maintenance staff, officials, and other key players all rowing in your direction?

Carnegie's principles speak directly to this challenge. In a nutshell, he advises that a leader work hard on listening and relating to others, which gets constituents to respect (and genuinely like) the leader. From there, the leader can "win people to his or her way of thinking."

Some of his main points that correlate well to our roles as athletic directors include the following:

• Refrain from being critical of people.
• Be sincere in showing your appreciation.
• Be an active listener.
• Talk in terms of the other person's interests.

If done consistently and with sincerity, such actions lead others to trust you. Carnegie argues that it is then much easier to win people over to your way of thinking. This can mean convincing them of the importance of a strategic plan, or simply getting the custodian to fix a creaky board in the gym.

Another key component is the attitude you bring to work every day. Remember when you landed a job you coveted and how you behaved during the first year? You were willing to do anything to show you belonged, worked endlessly to demonstrate your abilities, and went out of your way to be helpful. Each day you brought out the best in yourself and in your co-workers. Just because you are now more experienced and comfortable in your role does not mean you must lose that same enthusiasm. Someone who has elevated their game is a leader people want to be around.

By embracing Carnegie's simple but effective principles, I've come away with a greater sense of how to play the people game. It has also helped me build partnerships with the various groups I encounter, and move toward consensus building when tough decisions have to be made.

And, no, it hasn't taken more time out of my day. In fact, the opposite is true. It is amazing, but my workload has actually lessened by using Carnegie's approach.

For example, there was a time when I did far more work prior to, during, and after events that I no longer do. One ritual I had was to take water to the officials at halftime. Our athletic trainer has taken on that task as he sees the value of being courteous to contest officials. I used to help the field maintenance person pick up the pylons after a football game, and now the stick crew has taken that on. They have all come to recognize that being helpful to deserving individuals is rewarding. I never asked these people to take on these tasks, rather they did it of their own accord.

ONE WIN AT A TIME
Carnegie's theory stresses building relationships every chance you get. Each interaction with a person is a chance to make a good impression and show your interest in them. As those interactions build up, you're winning over people who you can then count on for cooperation when you need it most.

For example, at a sporting event, a parent might approach me and ask to talk. If I say no because I am busy overseeing the contest, I have closed a door at a time when they felt the conversation was necessary. By saying yes, I have presented myself as someone who is sincerely interested in what they have to say. I may not want to hear another parent complain right then, but I am laying the foundation for future interactions by listening with interest.

However, listening can't be half hearted. One of Carnegie's suggestions is to make the other person feel important. Whomever it is you are talking to becomes the central focus. If you can't give them your full attention, ask to meet at a later time.

When I am talking to someone in my office, for example, I do not pick up the phone when it rings. Even if they urge me to answer it, my response is, "The call can wait." I have sent a message that they are the most important person in the room and deserve my undivided attention.

Another key is being a person who is adept at seeing a situation from another perspective. For example, the head of the maintenance department has multiple challenges that require prioritization. With elementary, junior high and senior high buildings come multiple leaky roofs, antiquated heating systems, and vandalism. In just one day, this person may be thinking about setting up a gym for the senior dance, shuffling chairs from one elementary school to another for concerts, and how to handle the broken radiator in the middle school principal's office.

Do you think this person deems it important that you have new basketball nets on the rims for tonight's game? Looking at things from another's point of view helps us understand that we have to be better than anyone else in team building. Before we ask for the nets to be put up, we need to have built a relationship with the maintenance crew and appreciated their work in the past. Then, they are open to hearing our strategy on how to get those nets up during a busy day.

There are also people not on your direct radar that you may want to reach out to. I try to take the extra step with our officials' assigners by calling them to commend a crew that did an outstanding job, regardless of whether we won or lost. This opens a door for those times when I feel the officials did not control a game. Those involved are more likely to respect your opinion if you call to point out both the good and bad.

Winning small battles one at a time can mean accumulating much needed cooperation as difficult decisions arise. Here in Western Pennsylvania, spring is perhaps the most challenging time in the sports schedule. The fields take a long time to come around because the weather is erratic. On the first nice day, the coaches, athletes, and parents say it is time to practice outdoors, while the maintenance staff says it needs more time for field preparation.

The art of the deal, a decisive moment, has arrived for the athletic director. If you have built relationships with all those involved, and communicate well, your decision will be quickly respected. If you haven't, you will either have a disgruntled maintenance staff not willing to go the extra mile for you in the future, or you'll spend days answering complaints from coaches, athletes, and parents.

SMALL GESTURES
The athletic office is a fast-paced setting, and one can easily lose control of the day to outside forces. What can an athletic director do to make a conscious effort to pay greater attention to people? I've found a key is to plan it into my day and make it part of my overall leadership strategy. Here are some ideas I use:

Thank people every day. One simple gesture I make is to try to thank five or more people each day before 9 a.m. I can send a thank you card to the volleyball parents who provided pizza and drinks for an opponent because they traveled a great distance. I can call the athletic trainer who made sure the boys' soccer game got off to a smooth start. An e-mail to our track coaches who worked hard to host an invitational might be on my list. Or I may compliment a player in the hallway for picking up her opponent when she fell down.

Say yes often. Yes is a positive word, and by using it more than no, you give those who come to you a hopeful outlook. And if a request cannot be fulfilled, I still might say, "Maybe we can do that next year."

We had a great basketball booster group this past school year. They came to us with ideas on how to build school spirit, increase attendance, and publicize the success of the team. Initially, I saw a lot of roadblocks and didn't think they could really pull off their ideas. It would have been easy to say no to many of their initiatives. But instead, I said yes and helped them work around the roadblocks.

The group organized a cookout before a game and our principal operated the grill. There was another contest where fans received a free T-shirt for attending. They have also done breakfasts for the players before big games, and even offered student busses for away playoff games.

The result was that we not only had a great basketball team, but a great team of basketball parents. Had we taken the stance that their ideas had been tried before and did not work, we would have discouraged initiatives that had great potential--and discouraged relationships with a wonderful group.

Embrace a good idea. If a coach has a good idea, then I embrace it enthusiastically. Even if I see a different way of achieving his or her goal, I am positive about the coach's idea. And this goes for the little stuff, too.

For example, our tennis coach saw that the forecast was going to be bad, and asked to secure indoor courts. I did not respond by saying that we should wait because it might not rain, but said, "Great idea, go ahead and reserve the courts. I should have thought of it!"

Praise in front of others. When telling someone they've done a great job, it can be even more appreciated when the praise is also heard by others. I often like to say, "If not for this guy, this never would have happened."

Show appreciation. Along with daily thank you's, it's great to show special appreciation to those who go out of their way to help. Something as simple as a free T-shirt or hat goes a long way.

TOUGH DECISIONS
Athletic directors cannot avoid making decisions that have a degree of controversy. From facility usage to personnel decisions to student-athlete discipline, the choices we make are often ripe for criticism.

This is where all your legwork toward winning people over comes to fruition. If relationships have been built, cooperation comes much more easily. But, at the same time, any decision that has some degree of emotion attached to it has to be handled with care. Even if you know what the right choice is without a second thought, sometimes you need to go slow to ensure buy in for the long run.

For example, there are demands placed upon facilities by our own teams, other school groups, and community-based activities. When someone approaches me to use a facility, I don't automatically say yes or no. A quick answer can sometimes leave the impression that you favor one group over another.

Instead, I take some time to think about the request, then follow up in a timely manner and explain my decision. If I have gathered input from others, I make it clear the decision has been collaborative. This shows I value input and weigh requests carefully.

In a court of law, an attorney, when examining a witness, knows the answer to the question before they ask it. But such preparedness can result in a well thought out process and create stakeholders.

It can also be helpful to talk to other athletic directors about how they may have handled a similar situation in their schools. Let constituents know that you are looking for ideas and solutions in lots of places.

THE ULTIMATE GOAL
The job of an athletic director is akin to walking a tightrope. We come to work each day with the philosophy that athletics offers a tremendous stimulus package for teaching life lessons. The counterpunch that distorts this goal is parents who are living vicariously through their child's athletic career.

Our ultimate, and most difficult, task is winning people over toward our philosophy of educational athletics. It can be hard to convince a person in the thick of parenting a teenager of the value of team over self.

Using Dale Carnegie's principles has helped me get a lot of folks in sync in our athletic department. The principles work extremely well in our field. I am also using them as I try to get more parents to understand the ultimate goals of high school athletics.

Sidebar: WORDS OF WISDOM

Dale Carnegie's advice has helped people the world over. Here are a few of his quotations that translate well to our world of athletic administration.

"Begin in a friendly way."
"Make the other person feel important--and do it sincerely."
"Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves."
"Remember that a person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
"If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically."
"Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers."
"Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately."
"The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it."
"Smile."