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You know you're back ...

#10. When a seventh grade boy tries out for the seventh grade girls' basketball team (which is played in the fall here), thinking it is boys' hoops (which is played in the winter). They allow him to go through tryouts, and he fails to make the final cut.

#9. When a shuttle bus driver takes the junior high girls' and boys' soccer teams on their first preseason training run to the junior high football practice field, drops them off, and leaves.

#8. When the 30-member junior high cross country team gets lost on its first run of the season and the coach has to send out a search party.

#7. When a football player's head is too large to fit into a helmet and you have to call the Pittsburgh Steelers for help.

#6. When the fall sports season begins and you still have two cheerleading coaches and three junior high coaches to hire.

#5. When all 11 fall sport coaches express a desire to practice everyday--and play all their games--on your district's only synthetic turf field.

#4. When none of the 50 lights on your four stadium standards come on during your first nighttime soccer scrimmage.

#3. When you get phone calls from 500 members of the community explaining why they belong in one of the 60 reserved spots in the football parking lot.

#2. When your stomach begins to send messages to your brain, informing you that concession stand food will again be your main source of nourishment (not nutrition) for the next nine months.

And #1: When all 12 parents of the marching band's tuba section call asking if you found the tuba that was left on the field after band practice.

Dan Cardone is Athletic Director at North Hills High School in Pittsburgh, Pa. He is a frequent contributor to Athletic Management.